Edited by Colleen Curran
Is there anything more romantic and fun to read about than a wedding? Most women have wedding stories, about ones we attended or planned or even participated in somehow. I know that some women hate it, but I found the planning of my wedding to be one of the most enjoyable times of my life. Between April 2001 and September 2002, my two sisters and I were all married. We had so much fun together, choosing dresses and veils, venues, food, favors; it was like an eighteen month long wedding extravaganza. Sometimes we wondered what we would have to talk about after the weddings were all over. Growing up, I was one of those girls who dreamt about the puffy white dress, the enormous cake with a built in fountain and what the best day of my life would be like. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that as a teenager, I often borrowed wedding magazines from the library to plan my imaginary wedding and honeymoon, never mind the fact that I didn’t even have a boyfriend, much less a groom. By the time I did find my groom about 15 years later, most of my wedding ideas were completely different. I did have the outdoor ceremony I’d imagined but it was amid the greenery of late spring, not the foliage of mid October. Instead of a huge bridal party, I chose my two best friends, my sisters, to be my maids of honor, my husband’s twin sister was my fun, sweet bridesmaid and my adorable little nieces made lovely flower girls. My husband and I wanted the day to be one big party with good food and lots of dancing. I think he would’ve let me make all the big decisions on my own but it was so much more fun to make decisions together. The fact that he chose our beautiful wedding song, Bruce Springsteen’s If I Fall Behind, as well as an amazing photographer made our day even better than I’d imagined. Although, the food was a bit disappointing & the DJ slightly annoying, it turned out to be a beautiful day, exactly what we wanted. We danced the entire time and I still have my tattered and torn wedding dress in the closet to prove it. At age 29, I no longer expected my wedding day to be the best day of my life, but hoped instead that it would be the first of many, many happy days as husband and wife. I have not been disappointed.
This book is a collection of 27 thought provoking, wedding related essays written by some of today’s most popular female writers. Some are humorous, others are poignant but each makes a smart, important statement about marriage.
Some of my favorite passages include:
Is there anything more romantic and fun to read about than a wedding? Most women have wedding stories, about ones we attended or planned or even participated in somehow. I know that some women hate it, but I found the planning of my wedding to be one of the most enjoyable times of my life. Between April 2001 and September 2002, my two sisters and I were all married. We had so much fun together, choosing dresses and veils, venues, food, favors; it was like an eighteen month long wedding extravaganza. Sometimes we wondered what we would have to talk about after the weddings were all over. Growing up, I was one of those girls who dreamt about the puffy white dress, the enormous cake with a built in fountain and what the best day of my life would be like. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that as a teenager, I often borrowed wedding magazines from the library to plan my imaginary wedding and honeymoon, never mind the fact that I didn’t even have a boyfriend, much less a groom. By the time I did find my groom about 15 years later, most of my wedding ideas were completely different. I did have the outdoor ceremony I’d imagined but it was amid the greenery of late spring, not the foliage of mid October. Instead of a huge bridal party, I chose my two best friends, my sisters, to be my maids of honor, my husband’s twin sister was my fun, sweet bridesmaid and my adorable little nieces made lovely flower girls. My husband and I wanted the day to be one big party with good food and lots of dancing. I think he would’ve let me make all the big decisions on my own but it was so much more fun to make decisions together. The fact that he chose our beautiful wedding song, Bruce Springsteen’s If I Fall Behind, as well as an amazing photographer made our day even better than I’d imagined. Although, the food was a bit disappointing & the DJ slightly annoying, it turned out to be a beautiful day, exactly what we wanted. We danced the entire time and I still have my tattered and torn wedding dress in the closet to prove it. At age 29, I no longer expected my wedding day to be the best day of my life, but hoped instead that it would be the first of many, many happy days as husband and wife. I have not been disappointed.
This book is a collection of 27 thought provoking, wedding related essays written by some of today’s most popular female writers. Some are humorous, others are poignant but each makes a smart, important statement about marriage.
Some of my favorite passages include:
“I recall that All Green lyric, which I previously thought of as inane: “Being in love means feeling good about someone.” The more you like someone, the nicer you treat them, and the nicer they treat you, and then the more you like them. It sounds pretty dumb, but it’s true. Everything is just easy when it’s easy. Not that he doesn’t irritate me, but you know I irritate myself, and I don’t hold it against me. I just forget how infuriating he is as soon as my mood passes, instead of counting and remembering and measuring what this person has done to me and what he owes me…” from Lisa Carver’s “Back in Black”
“Weddings are not marriages, and I wish they were. Weddings are to marriage as a single bamboo shoot is to a jungle, as a seashell is to the ocean floor: nice enough, not unrepresentative, and almost totally irrelevant. Marriage is all about the long road, about terror and disappointment, about recovery and contentment, about passions of all kinds. Weddings are about a party…Marriage requires common sense, self awareness, compatible senses of humor, compatible sex drives and enough, but not too much, perseverance. Weddings on the other hand, offer just a day’s happiness, and require only a willingness to dance – even badly - and embrace the world and big love for a short time.
I admire marriages: I puzzle over them, I analyze them, I long to get it right. But I love weddings.” From Amy Bloom’s “Weddings for Everyone”
“Here is what I know and it may be all I know on the subject of being a bride: the ring, the dress, the proposal, the place cards and flowers, the music, the minister or rabbi or justice of the peace – it will all add up to exactly nothing. There will be a moment when it’s all over. A moment when in a hungover, happy, bleary state you roll over and look at the guy next to you and think, my husband for the first time. My husband. The word will roll over and over in your mouth, in your mind until one day, the concept simply becomes a part of you. You are a wife. You have a husband. The two of you together make a family of two, of three, of four, or even - God help you- more. People may, from time to time, ask how the two of you met. They may ask how long you’ve been married. But here are some questions I’ve never been asked in the nine years since my wedding day: Where was the wedding? Who was the caterer? What flavor was the cake? What kind of flowers?...
The dress hangs in its garment bag in our house in the country. Every once in a while I think of pulling it out and trying to wear it to some black tie event, but after giving birth to our son, I’m afraid – very afraid - of how it will fit. The ring…has broken four times and been sent back to Barney’s to be re-soldered. The wedding bouquet dried and finally crumbled after being subjected to several moves…The timeless black and white photographs are still not yet in an album…And the guests? My mother is dead. My half sister and I no longer speak. Two out of my three invitees – the most important people in my life at the time! - are now people with whom I exchange holiday cards. Ditto for my husband and his friends. But what I do have – after the crumbled bouquet, the fading proofs, the broken ring, the lost friends and family – is a husband. One whom I roll over and look at first thing in the morning – our middle-aged faces creased by our pillows – and think:He’s a keeper.” From Dani Shapiro’s “Happily Ever After”
A great book for brides to be, as well as brides of the past.
No comments:
Post a Comment