By Suzanne Finnamore
We do not see things as they are.
We see things as we are.
-Anais Nin
Having found Finnamore’s first novel, Otherwise Engaged, enjoyable and her second one, The Zygote Chronicles, kind of mediocre, I wasn’t sure to what to expect with her latest effort, a memoir about her painful divorce from “N”, her husband of five years.
For Suzanne, the split did not come as a complete surprise; there’d been a few tell tale signs that she’d tried to ignore – strange song lyrics on a cocktail napkin, mysterious phone calls, time away from home or the office that N refused to account for, etc. Nevertheless, her husband’s decision to desert Suzanne and their young son (for another woman and the sake of his own happiness) is so completely devastating that she remains in complete denial for months, continuing to have sex with her ex while clinging to the hope of a reconciliation that never happens.
It’s hard not to sympathize with Finnamore after reading this book. I found her husband extremely hateful and his actions completely unforgiveable. When she questions his whereabouts or catches him in a lie, he heinously claims she needs psychiatric care and recommends antidepressants. The way he wallows in self pity for the painful situation he created, waffling back and forth between women is reprehensible. Like many of Suzanne’s friends and family members, I say good riddance! I’d always imagined that after divorce, the relationship was just finished/done/kaput, but now it seems like it simply morphs from love into hatred (or indifference at best), especially if there are children involved.
Many reviewers praised Split and it is very well written, with many insightful, intelligent observations and an ending that has just the right amount of hope (ie. enough to feel slightly optimistic but not even close to happy.) However, for me Split was mostly bitter, surreal and very sad to read. Recommended for people recovering from a painful divorce or a bad breakup (as long as they aren’t too depressed already.)
We do not see things as they are.
We see things as we are.
-Anais Nin
Having found Finnamore’s first novel, Otherwise Engaged, enjoyable and her second one, The Zygote Chronicles, kind of mediocre, I wasn’t sure to what to expect with her latest effort, a memoir about her painful divorce from “N”, her husband of five years.
For Suzanne, the split did not come as a complete surprise; there’d been a few tell tale signs that she’d tried to ignore – strange song lyrics on a cocktail napkin, mysterious phone calls, time away from home or the office that N refused to account for, etc. Nevertheless, her husband’s decision to desert Suzanne and their young son (for another woman and the sake of his own happiness) is so completely devastating that she remains in complete denial for months, continuing to have sex with her ex while clinging to the hope of a reconciliation that never happens.
It’s hard not to sympathize with Finnamore after reading this book. I found her husband extremely hateful and his actions completely unforgiveable. When she questions his whereabouts or catches him in a lie, he heinously claims she needs psychiatric care and recommends antidepressants. The way he wallows in self pity for the painful situation he created, waffling back and forth between women is reprehensible. Like many of Suzanne’s friends and family members, I say good riddance! I’d always imagined that after divorce, the relationship was just finished/done/kaput, but now it seems like it simply morphs from love into hatred (or indifference at best), especially if there are children involved.
Many reviewers praised Split and it is very well written, with many insightful, intelligent observations and an ending that has just the right amount of hope (ie. enough to feel slightly optimistic but not even close to happy.) However, for me Split was mostly bitter, surreal and very sad to read. Recommended for people recovering from a painful divorce or a bad breakup (as long as they aren’t too depressed already.)
2 comments:
I thought this book was very brave and honest. The author herself had some pretty unflattering moments which are highlighted in addition to her ex husband's atrocious behavior.
One thing left me puzzled: The last chapter has a reference to Finnamore and her ex-husband going to view Hale Bopp Comet together. Up until this point I thought that I had a good grasp on the chronology of all this. This confused me. Did all of this happen over 10 years ago?
That's a good question. I didn't really think about that.
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